What I Feel For You
by March Rosenqueen
Summary: She hates him. No. Maybe it would be right to say if she despises him. What is it that exactly happens between Shizuka and Rido that makes her hate Rido so much? Song-fic, made based from pure wild imagination. Companion fic with The Fragile of Togetherness. Shizuka's POV


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Vampire Knight (sadly), it's belong to Hino Matsuri sensei and her great mind for create such a wonderful piece like Vampire Knight (I do though hope I can own Kaname ..TT^TT)

**Warnings:** It contains OC and it's just one-shot so I won't made the sequel of it also this one is definitely angst that's why for all of you who can't stand with it please just stop read it before you regret it later. A little OOC for Shizuka (I think, but I don't know too I'm just want to try write her other side after all I don't really think she's that bad most probably because she's looks more human than Rido). This story based from the manga and anime with minor changes to the storyline. May contain spoilers. Unbeta because like what I said before my beta reader is so busy right now and I haven't found a new one. I'll try to find one soon enough

**Author's Note:** I should say this is my first attempt on making a song-fic and also this one is a companion fic with The Fragile of Togetherness. Because I want to write a story about what exactly happen between Shizuka and Rido that made Shizuka hate Rido so much. This one is also from Shizuka POV. So here it is…I hope you enjoy it

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**What I Feel For You**

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_I won't let you bring me down_

_It's here and now I'm breaking out_

_I will learn to love again_

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She hates him. No. Maybe it would be right to say if she despises him. The only reason she stays with him when she can leave was because of Jun. And because that fake hope that man gave to her.

After all he was her fiancé whether she likes it or not, he was the one who will become her partner someday despite her lack of love towards him. The last she can do was just stay and try to work things up between them. At least it was what she thinks of when she trapped with him in this situation.

_I took a chance, I took a shot_

_And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not_

_You took a swing, I took it hard_

_And down here from the ground, I see who you are_

But no matter how many times she tries to work things up between them, she knows things won't ever work between them. They were too different from each other until it can't be helped anymore. He with his obsession and she with her simple dream.

Day after day she spend with him, make her realize who he really is. And it just makes her hate him more than she already is. What he had done to her, how he had treated her, it just like she held no value in his eyes.

_I'm sick and tired of your attitude_

_I'm feeling like I don't know you_

_You tell me that you love me then you cut me down_

Night after night, he would come and beat her senseless, leaving her bleeding till morning come. No matter how many times she tried to defend herself, it just would make things worse. Because he know her weakness and hold it close with him. And how much she wants to kill him for it.

Sometimes he would be sweet to her. He will say things she longed to hear. Whispering sweet nothing to her ear and caressed her gently. And he would shower her with a lot of love she never expect to receive, like there's nothing matter for him in this world except for her. And he would fill that emptiness in her heart due to the absence of the one she love.

_And I need you like a heartbeat_

_But you know you got a mean streak_

_Makes me run for cover when you're around_

But it won't last, all those love won't ever last long. It would change quickly like when it come, he would change quickly just like the weather. Gone that sweet attitudes of him replaced by the monster who would look at her with his vicious smile. And she hates him for toying with her emotion like that.

And she can see it in his eyes everytime he torture her. How much he enjoyed the agony in her eyes. How much her pains amused him. If it's not for the fact he hold Jun against her, there's nothing she would gladly to do than kill the man in front of her. But she can't do anything except waiting and try to survive under his games. For Jun's sake, as long as he doesn't touch Jun she will try to bear with her pains.

_And here's to you and your temper_

_Yes, I remember what you said last night_

_And I know that you see what you're doing to me_

_Tell me, why?_

She doesn't understand it a bit, the reason he treated her like this. She knows that he was her fiancé still he never pays any attention to her before. For him to suddenly threatened her and torture her like this was beyond her mind.

_You could write a book on how_

_To ruin someone's perfect day_

_Well, I get so confused and frustrated_

_Forget what I'm trying to say, oh_

Everytime she try to renew her resolve, he would come and crush it. He would even go far to torture Jun just to watch her face twisted in agony and despair. He would even beat her too in front of Jun just so her manservant can watch her being raped and claimed by the man she despise so much. And time after time she would feel her resolve slowly crumbling under his grip.

_I'm sick and tired of your reasons_

_I got no one to believe in_

_You tell me that you want me, then push me around_

_And I need you like a heartbeat_

_But you know you got a mean streak_

_Makes me run for cover when you're around_

Sometimes once he leaves her alone in her room, she would hate herself for even letting that man touched her. She would hate herself for unable to stand against him and save Jun from that man. How much she hates the control he has over herself. Like she was his pet…his slave…his servant…his puppet…

_Here's to you and your temper_

_Yes, I remember what you said last night_

_And I know that you see what you're doing to me_

_Tell me, why?_

_Why do you have to make me feel small_

_So you can feel whole inside?_

_Why do you have to put down my dreams_

_So you're the only thing on my mind?_

She feels like a puppet. A mindless doll that he can play whenever he please and torture whenever he want. He crushes her, beat her even raped her just for his amusement. Just so he can watch her face in agony.

He always smiles in glee everytime her face twisted in pain and agony. Everytime he see her writhed under his harsh grip. Still no matter how hard it is, she refuses to bow down to him. She refuses to let him see her break. No matter how painful it would be for her, she won't give up to him. She won't let him has his amusement over her breakdown.

_I'm sick and tired of your attitude_

_I'm feeling like I don't know you_

_You tell me that you want me then cut me down_

She sick with his twisted personality, with his games and with his bipolar attitudes. How much she despises everything about him. There's nothing more she wants in this world than to kill him and let him suffer the way she had. But she can't do anything. If just there's a little chance for her to save Jun, she won't hesitate to take it.

_I'm sick and tired of your reasons_

_I've got no one to believe in_

_You ask me for my love then you push me around_

That's why that night, once he gone to the outside she quickly takes her chance. She saved Jun from his confinement and takes him with her. Away from that mansion, away from that man grasp. Never again she wants to see his face again nor does she even think about it.

There's nothing she want than to kill him the next time they met. But then again, the next time she met him again, he take those person that precious for her. Again he kills them in front of her eyes, leaving her in her anguish.

_Here's to you and your temper_

_Yes, I remember what you said last night_

_And I know that you see what you're doing to me_

_Tell me, why? Why? Tell me, why?_

_I take a step back, let you go_

_I told you I'm not bulletproof_

_Now you know_

And until now she still hates him more than anyone in this world. Kuran Rido, there's nothing she wants more from him than to kill him and make him feel the pain he had caused to her. This hatred she feels toward him will forever eternal within her until she dies.

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**Author's Note:** So there it is. It's my first song-fic and it's pretty short for my usual length of writing. Anyway please tell me what you think about it because it made me improve my skill. And no flame please because I'm still an amateur and still try to improve my writing skill. I appreciate all your review though. And please feel free to read my other stories and for you who love Vampire Knight fiction, I have written some of it too so feel free to read it. And please vote for the story you want me to write next on my Midnight Love Side Story. The polling is on my profile, I'll wait to see your poll.


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